He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
ok first of all what the fuck
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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