we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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