Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
