Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
