They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize