Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
