I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
