grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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