I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think people are normalizing furries
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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