I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
