I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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