so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
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When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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