9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
