good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
how does that bad decision feel?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
