omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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