no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
