So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my being single is dangerous.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize