CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
