i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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