why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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