better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
