ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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