And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
