Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
