the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
