1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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