sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
