At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize