Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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