I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
