Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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