Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize