Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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