Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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