He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
