Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
