I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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