so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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