So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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