Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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