Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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