yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
