ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
