I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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