Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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