I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
