I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are