Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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