How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
