I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
