that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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