Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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