Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
