I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
