it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
