So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
