Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
